I'll Fly Away- O Glory!

Good news! We have a court date officially set for Tuesday. Wish it could be sooner, but the holidays have prevented it. New Years is a big deal in Ukraine. So we will wait and be grateful that at least we have an official date. After court, I will ride the train back with Denis to Kiev. I'll spend one night there with our new friends the Petersons and then fly out on the fifth. I have many flights in a row to get home. I could've gone with a few other flight options, but this one gets me back the quickest. I am more than ready to be reunited with my babies. Your prayers for safe travels for me are appreciated. Also pray for Josh- he will be here with the boys on his own. I know it will be a lonely time for him but also a great opportunity to continue the bonding process.

Out of Control

I'm sitting here in the dining room of the TLC, taking advantage of the wifi and waiting on my load in the wash. Alexandra taught me how to make borscht today, so the smell of that is wafting into the room. Josh is at the soccer field with the boys. I'm getting the play by play via cell phone from time to time. It sounds like a pretty good day, and I am blessed for sure, but I spent the first hour of my morning in tears. I'm loving every minute that I get to spend with these boys and they are opening up and accepting us so nicely...BUT...I miss my bio babies like crazy and I'm ready to go HOME. Ideally, we would've received news that court will be held tomorrow (as originally planned), but this morning Nina told us that the earliest we would get our paperwork back would be tomorrow and that doesn't give Denis enough time to get to Mariupol with it. It's New Years this weekend, and the courts will be closed Monday, as well. So that leaves us hoping for Tuesday, January 3. If I had known it would take this long, perhaps I would've come back to America. I don't know. Maybe not. It would've been a tight turn around and very expensive. I am also reminded of what I would've missed. I would've missed the "getting to know you" moments that I will forever cherish in my heart. God's timing is perfect- and as hard as it is for this type A girl to admit, I am thankful that I am NOT in control. Our American boys seem to be doing very well, but I know that this has got to be weighing on them heavily. I am having to learn to trust God with that, too.
I don't want to bum you out here, but adoption is HARD. It's also the best thing I've ever experienced. It's a lot like giving birth. I'm sure I'll walk away only remembering the happy ending, but for now, I'm stuck with no epidural and no end to the contractions in sight.
Maybe the best thing to do is to focus on the blessings in the wait. I could go on for hours about those. Sometimes, it's difficult to believe how beautiful it all is. It's like I'm in a movie or something. Yesterday, my favorite line in the "script" was: "Mama want tea or coffee?" Neither, but please ask again...and often. We took the boys to the Shocktar stadium in Donetsk (their favorite soccer team). They had never been before. We paid for a tour of the stadium and they got to sit in the locker room, touch the field, sit in the players seats and run through the players tunnel! It was amazing and such a blessing to give them those moments. Our good friend Pasha was our "tour guide", translator and companion for the day. It was a lot of fun! Staying busy helps me focus on the boys I have access to and not pine too much for the ones I don't.
Thank you for praying for our family and for the encouraging words. One day, this will all be a memory. For now, we are living in the moment and waiting on God to finish what He started in our hearts.

A quick update from Mariupol

We are waiting (the theme of 2011) for the SDA to give us approval for court. We were originally told we would have court on December 30, but the last time I spoke with Nina, she said she imagined that would not be possible and that January 3 was more likely. We are patient as we have learned the benefits of God's timing.
If we had been given an SDA referral back in November, as we had hoped, Andrey would be in the orphanage for our entire time here. But because of God's timing, we are able to spend everyday with him here at the TLC because he has a holiday pass to be with his brother and their temporary guardian. Due to this blessing, we have enjoyed many days with both our boys playing video games, poker, watching movies, going to the market, watching Ruslan play soccer, drinking coffee, eating chocolate and riding the bus over and over again. This is a very unique situation for adoptive parents to be in. We feel God's hand here- there is no doubt. 
Some highlights that will stay in my heart forever:
-goodnight hugs
-FIFA soccer matches on the iPhone " Manchester United- girls!"
-brotherly behavior, me- "you are so mean to him!", Ruslan- "Andrey like."
-learning to share the laptop, me- "Tomorrow Andrey gets it first.", Andrey- "ha!"
-our tour guide/translator/son Ruslan
-watching Andrey "skate" on the ice all through town
-awkward morning reconnections (2 steps forward, 1 step back)
-cooking Mexican food for the kids at the TLC and then watching my boys inhale two plates each
-watching Elf (our favorite holiday movie) dubbed in Russian
-the first I love you in Russian from Andrey
 Although it is difficult for this American girl to be in Ukraine for over two weeks now, I am grateful for the opportunity to be here with them. I have to tell you that perhaps my favorite moments are times when I can care for them/clean up after them; general mothering moments. Today, Ruslan went out with a friend. We had the first "where are you going- when are you going to be back" talk. He teased us that maybe he would be back tomorrow or the next day. We asked if he needed any money. No. Then a quick "love you" and a hug. It's small, but significant- and yet, felt very natural at this point. All signs point to family.
We are asking you to continue to pray for our situation- quick court date, favorable outcome, safe travel and smooth family adjustment. Thank you for your continued support.

Stairway to Heaven

Yesterday, I spent an hour and a half in a stairwell with many strangers. Does that sound like a recipe for a spiritual revival? Probably not, but it was. When Josh and I made it back to the SDA for our referral, we saw a man and his daughter walking in the gate ahead of us. I knew immediately who they were. Andrew Kelly had introduced us (by email) to a family that had an appointment at the SDA the same day as us. We had read one another’s blogs and emailed back and forth a few times, so I knew who these two were. I introduced myself (in person) and we began to chat outside. It turns out they are using the same facilitator as we are, and when Denis asked us to step inside, we did so, continuing to share our experiences since we had landed in Ukraine. The father we met is from Texas. and his wife is at home with their children. Due to medical reasons, she was able to stay home. Their teenage daughter came with her dad. Our conversation continued as the stairwell we were waiting in began to fill up with people, most of whom were Americans. One by one, we heard each other’s stories. The father I mentioned told about their 10 children, most of whom are adopted internationally, others biological, etc. He has a powerful story to tell. Adoption is a mission for their family, and he is not shy to say so. Another couple was there from Georgia. They told their story. They are adopting a 15 year old girl they hosted for a summer and a winter session. They didn’t host with the intent to adopt. But when you fall in love with a child, intentions go right out the window. They have left their six year old daughter at home with her grandparents. Then another story, then another, still more…

Adopting can be a lonely experience. You get a lot of “whys” and “buts” from well-meaning people. You get a lot of polite nods and even some out-right rude comments. So when you meet others who are in the process, it feels like a family reunion or something.

That stairwell was hot. There was no place to sit down. We stood for an hour and a half, sharing our stories, and I don’t remember feeling uncomfortable even once. Denis came in to reassure us that he had spoken with the director and they would be down within 20 minutes or so with all of our referrals. We continued sharing. Each story had a different twist or turn, but in the end, we were all there because of one adoption- our own adoption…into grace. Jesus lead us all into that stairwell. And for just a moment, I could feel His presence on the steps, listening to all of us share what He has done with our hearts. I’ve never felt anything like it. I’d stay in the stairwell for a year just feel that again. It’s what I imagine heaven will feel like.

After our wait was over, Josh and I were the second couple to be called in for our referrals. We had to show our passports and sign another “official” piece of graph paper. When we were finished, we said good-bye to everyone, promising to pray for each of their families. Josh lead me under a tree in the front of the building and prayed a beautiful prayer of thanksgiving. It was a moment I will treasure always.

We will travel by train (with that father and his daughter) to Mariupol on Sunday afternoon. It is a 16 hour train ride. Once we arrive, we have an appointment with the inspector and the orphanage director. I’m not sure if we meet with anyone else or not. That’s what I’ve been told so far. Of course, we are more than ready to see the boys! We will be staying in the TLC with Ruslan, so we will see him Monday for sure. Not sure about Andrey. As soon as all of our paperwork is in order, Denis has to hand-deliver it back to Kiev. So that will take another 16 hour train ride or we may decide to pay for him to fly, depending on the cost. Once it’s back in Kiev and approved, they will set a court date, and I will know when I can come home. I have to either stay for the court date or leave and come back for it. I’m very hopeful that it will be before the first of the year so I can attend it and then go home for good. Fighting jetlag twice does not sound like fun! And of course, I am ready to be back home with Levi and Noah.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. What a journey we are on! And you all have helped make it possible. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

iPad Raffle 2 winner

We sold 227 tickets - and number 196 was selected.

Congratulations to Deeanne Litton of Waco, Texas! And thank you to all the many ticket holders. We are forever grateful for your support! We were able to raise over $1,000! Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!

Merry Christmas, Deeanne!

Mathematic Anxiety

We met Denis (our facilitator's husband) at the French bakery this morning and followed him many blocks to the SDA. The building is located directly next to St. Andrew's Cathedral, but it hardly looks official. There were men working on the grounds with shovels and wheel barrows. The iron gate, with paper signs taped on it, was locked. We waited for about 10 minutes that felt like about 10 hours. Once the guard came and let us in, we were told to wait in a stair well. Then the case worker came and invited us into her office. I was amazed at what I saw. There were a few book cases with binders labeled 2004, 2005, etc. We were invited to sit down and she sat opposite us, with our dossier in her hands. She rearranged the papers in her hands, and I caught a glimpse of a picture. Andrey's face was staring at me through her fingers.

She spoke in rapid fire Russian with Denis. After some words, she began to rub her temples. She looked concerned or frustrated. "Don't panic, Mika. God's got this," I told myself. Then I heard it. I don't speak Russian, but I do know how to count. I heard 33, and I heard 17. My gut sank. Didn't we do this math before? Let me back up- in Ukraine, the law says parents must be a minimum of 15 years older than the children they are adopting. 33 and 17. 33 and 17. I forgot how to do subtraction. Apparently, so did she. Denis got out his cell phone. Who was he calling? Oh wait- he's using his calculator. 33 minus 17. I'll give you a minute to do the calculations. No cheating, please.

You done? Yes, it's 16. We're fine. Josh is 16 years older than Ruslan. Sigh. Of. Relief.

So after our mathematical heart attack, it was all good. She said some things to us which Denis translated. She told us their parents are known and their rights have been terminated. She said they are in good health, although Andrey has a minor health concern. Nothing to worry about. She asked us how we know them and if they know we are coming for them, etc. After our interactions with her, she and Denis spoke back and forth. You always wonder if it's about you or if they're talking about the weather. But in about half an hour, it was over and she told us to come back tomorrow between 3 and 4 for our referral. Then we were asked to sign the official SDA registry, saying that these were the children we want to adopt. I know what you're picturing- an official document, maybe a seal or a notary required. After all the paper chasing we did in Oklahoma- all the notaries and apostilles- in Ukraine, we signed a hand written document on a piece of graph paper in a binder. I had to laugh.

So really, the only stress of the appointment centered around Math. Isn't it always the culprit? If there's one equation I will always remember now, it's 33-17=16. It does. Really. I checked.

Keep Walking

The last two days have been full of many steps. We had a layover in London for a little less than 24 hours, so we made the most of it by visiting the British Museum of History. It was full of amazing artifacts! I saw things I never imagined I would see in person- only in books. As we were viewing the Rosetta Stone, my feet and legs began to cramp. Each step became more painful than the last. But what could I do? We're not at home, so I can't jump in the car. The only choice I had? Keep walking. We made it back to the hotel. I took some ibuprofen and slept like a baby. The next morning, we boarded our second plane to Kiev. While here in Kiev, we are staying with an amazing American family. They have been more than hospitable to us. The first night, Marci took us all over the city, showing us the best places to bank, eat, shop, etc. The city of Kiev is full of history! It's a beautiful place. And guess how you see it all? You keep walking. Day two of foot and leg cramps. This morning, we met with our facilitator at a local french bakery. We had a very good meeting and enjoyed getting to know her and her husband, who will be accompanying us on our trip to Mariupol. However, we cannot go to Mariupol until we have received a referral letter from the SDA. We have our appointment with them tomorrow and hope to receive our letter by Friday. Until then, we really have nothing to do. But the jet lag makes it impossible to relax in our very nice apartment. We would sleep all day for sure! (Kiev is 8 hours ahead of Oklahoma) So what do we do? Keep walking. Today, we saw St. Sophia's, the Golden Gate and other beautiful sites. Day three of foot and leg cramps, now accompanied by bloody toes from breaking in my new boots.

I'm not complaining. Putting our family together is worth any amount of suffering, and I'm sure this is the least of things to come. Missing my American boys is rubbing my heart far worse than these boots are rubbing my toes! But I remain convinced that God will see us through all of this and more, if we just...keep walking. Each step is a step toward our Ukrainian boys coming home. Praise God and pass the ibuprofen!

How Far Love Goes, Part 3

The last few days have been filled with emotional highs and lows. There are so many things to share with you and so many things that should remain only in my heart. I am unable to post pictures at this time because of our Internet restrictions, but I will as soon as I return to America.

We have been in Mariupol for three days now. Monday, we arrived by train and very quickly got to work. First stop- the inspector. It is his job to protect the rights of the children. After this, he rode with us to the orphanage. The orphanage is very old. It is not at all a pleasant place. I find it very difficult seeing children there, knowing that they will call this home until they graduate. We had a short visit with the director and then in came a familiar face! Andrey came to us immediately with a hug. He is very shy and quiet, but he seemed happy to see us. The director spoke with him at length about who we are, how he knows us, if he wants to be our son, etc. I couldn't understand most of what he said. But I heard, "Dah. Dah. Dah." (yes, yes, yes) Later, our facilitator told us he was saying yes to wanting to be our son. "are you sure?" "Dah!"
After we finished the interview, we were able to have a private visit with him. We showed him pictures and videos on my phone. He smiled and laughed at many things. He seems to like the dogs the best. We said our goodbyes and he ran off with his friends.

Then we went to Ruslan's trade school. The director there began to cry when she learned of our intentions. It was a much warmer place than the orphanage. There was a clear difference here. She seemed to care about Ruslan. The only time the orphanage director has smiled at us was when we made our "donation." Anyway, we kept answering questions, wondering wether or not Ruslan would come in the room. Finally, the TLC director called me and said Ruslan was not at the school, he was at the hospital getting his physical for the adoption. So we made arrangements to return later. This would give the trade school time to work on the papers. They have never had a student from this school be placed for adoption. They had no idea what they were doing, but were extremely cooperative.

We went to the TLC to unload our luggage and saw several kids we knew and dear, sweet Alexandra. She fed us soup and we caught up a little bit before it was time to go again. When we returned to the trade school, we waited in the assistant directors office until Ruslan showed up. What a sight for road weary eyes! Such a young man now! Hugs, hugs, awkward stares- then a rather serious interview. The director came in and asked A LOT of questions. It was clear she wanted to protect his interests. I don't understand Russian, but there were things I caught onto. She asked him where we lived. Before she could even finish her sentence, he interrupted- "Ada." (he pronounces it Ah-duh) I heard him interrupt her many times- "Chickasaw, music professor, two brothers, Levi, Noah", etc. He made sure she knew that he knew us well. After some very kind words from the director, we were let go and went into the hallway to catch up. The language barrier is tricky, but a good smile goes a long way. He ran outside and brought in his best friend to meet us. We showed them both lots of pictures and videos. When we were done, we returned to the TLC, road weary, but happy.

The next day was filled with more paperwork. We could not see Andrey, which was disappointing. That night, Ruslan took us to a professional basketball game. We road the bus, which is quite an experience! I'm experiencing a little PTSD I think! It was nice to be with him and his friends at the game. When we went back to the TLC, he fed Josh sala (a traditional Ukrainian dish that I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole, but Josh loves!). It was full of awkward silence, but precious moments, too. Ruslan always finds a way to make us laugh! He is goofy! He tried Josh's hot sauce. Hysterical! (Yes, Josh brought hot sauce to Ukraine).

As I said before, there is a lot to share- and some things will remain treasures of my heart. The hours are filled with opportunities to bond. It's a guessing game as to what they are thinking, but one thing is clear- this is the time when we prove ourselves to them, and they both seem to be receptive. They have had very difficult lives for such young boys. Why should they trust us to do any better than the other adults in their lives? I hope we pass the test. Ultimately, it is God who is knitting us together as a family, so we continue to pray for Him to open our eyes to what they need- open our ears to what they are trying to say- and open our hearts to their point of view.

The paperwork is complete and now we wait on the SDA to approve it. A court date has been set for December 30. Once we go to court, I will come home. Josh will remain here. There is a 10 day waiting period after court. Then they will get new birth certificates, new passports and be off to Kiev to complete the US embassy side of things. We hope they will be home by mid-January. Meanwhile, the days ahead of us are a great time for bonding and learning to trust one another with our hearts. Thank you for praying for our family. We are forever grateful for your support!

This song has been in my heart through it all. This process is stretching our hearts. You always wonder how far your heart can be stretched before it breaks. I guess mine must be made of some kind of self-healing fabric, because it has broken so many times and keeps growing back together, stronger than before. God is the ultimate example of how far love goes.

Romans 8:38, 39-"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I think God is using this adoption to teach me how far His love goes- His love for Ruslan and Andrey, but maybe even more, His love for me. He is using a broken, sinner to change the lives of two innocent children. I am so not worthy of this task- but this is how far HIS love goes.

"Before the mountains call to you
Before you leave this home
I will teach your heart to trust
As I will teach my own
But sometimes I will ask the moon
Where it shined upon you last
And shake my head and laugh and say
It all went by too fast

You'll fly away
but take my hand until that day
So when they ask how far love goes
When my job's done, you'll be the one who knows."

-Dar Williams

How Far Love Goes, Part 2

This post is for my boys- the children whom I have been blessed with for 11 and 6 years. I'm always posting for the other two, but even though half of my heart is in Ukraine, the other half is right here, in Ada, Oklahoma. And in a few days, I will have to leave that half behind. Everyone keeps telling me that kids are resilient and "They'll be fine!". But that doesn't stop my heart from breaking at the very thought of Christmas morning without them. Yesterday, we had a long, tearful talk in the truck parked just outside the house. I told them that this is a time for us to understand the true meaning of family. Even when we're apart, we stand together. We made a decision as a family to invite these boys into our home, and this is what it takes to get them here. The boys both agreed. One thing I've always told them, and I hope they remember this without rolling their eyes at Mommy, is "Anything worth while takes time." I usually follow it up with, "Remember when Mommy had Noah in my tummy? It was 9 long months, but when he was finally born, wasn't it worth the wait?" We talk about it when we're baking cookies or learning multiplication tables. Anything worth while takes time. And although I fool myself into thinking that I have some amount of control over their time away from us- the bottom line is that it is God who is ALWAYS watching over them, even while we're together. I'm sure that this is an opportunity for Him to remind us that we are only their earthly parents. God is using this adoption journey to mold all of our hearts.

"All the things you treasure most
Will be the hardest won
I will watch you struggle on
Before the answers come
But I won't make it harder
I'll be there to cheer you on
I'll shine the light that guides you down
The road you're walking on

You'll fly away
but take my hand until that day
So when they ask how far love goes
When my job's done, you'll be the one who knows."
-Dar Williams

How Far Love Goes

Our Thanksgiving pie sale was such a success! We sold 81 pies...and ate one more. (shh) This sale was a benefit for our adoption and our friend's who are adopting Jimmy from Haiti. Jimmy is around the same age as Andrey. I can't wait for them to become friends. They both love to play soccer!

We made different kinds of pies, each with it's own complications. Amy and her sweet, sweet mother had bulk pecan and pumpkin pie making down to a science! Kyndal (Jimmy's soon-to-be sister) was our number one stirrer! And I peeled apples until my thumb was a different color! It took us four days, including shopping. And every moment of it was a blessing! It's easy to work hard when you have such great motivation.

"Time it was I had a dream
You're the dream come true
If I had the world to give
I'd give it all to you.
I'll take you to the mountains
I will take you to the sea
I'll show you how this life became
A miracle to me.

You'll fly away
but take my hand until that day
So when they ask how far love goes
When my job's done, you'll be the one who knows."
-Dar Williams

Headless Chicken

This post is not a recipe. It is a description of our family right now. We leave December 11th, and we are running around like...well, like a headless chicken. Tickets have been purchased for myself and my husband- one way tickets, as we have no idea of a return date, yet. After the initial excitement, we were hit with the news that the courts in Ukraine will close December 20th. It usually takes a week from your appointment to get paperwork ready to submit for court. We are praying that God will provide a miracle here and also preparing for the possibility that we are in for a very long wait. If we do not make court before the 20th, the plan for now is that Josh will stay in Ukraine to save travel expenses and I will return to be with our boys here in the U.S. Then once word of a court date is given, I will return for that. This would be an excellent opportunity for Daddy to bond with his new boys, but also a sad time for our younger children to be without their Daddy for maybe as long as 6-8 weeks. Please pray boldly with us that God will move this mountain, and we will be allowed to have our court date before Christmas. Also pray for our boys (in the U.S. and Ukraine) during the length of this process and our parents who are graciously watching the boys while we are away. Thank you to those that have been so encouraging and supportive to us. We know that God is in control, and we are learning to trust His plan more than ever through this process.

It's a Date!

I woke up this morning to the wonderful news that we have an appointment with the SDA in Kiev on December 15th! We are praising God today for His faithfulness! Join us! He is so good! We can hardly wait to wrap our arms around those boys! This means that Christmas will be spent away from our biological boys, however. Prayers for their hearts are appreciated. Perhaps we will have a Ukrainian Christmas all together on January 7th! We'll see. But we are delighted that we have a date and are purchasing tickets later today. Please share the link to the raffle with your friends and family! Now is when things get expensive! Expensive...but exciting! Thanks to all who have been praying!

Out In the Cold

Feeling left out in the cold today. Whether the process is refining fire, spiritual warfare, or red tape, it is taking it's toll on us all. Today, our water heater broke. It's amazing what NOT having a hot shower does to a stay-at-home Mommy. Showers are my time to relax, pray and praise, focusing my mind for the day ahead. Finding all three of those things much more of a challenge today. Praying this for our family, fighting discouragement, and remembering His greatness today. Please pray for us.

"For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." -Ephesians 3:14-21

Christmas iPad 2 Raffle

Don't you wish you could buy yourself or someone you love an iPad 2 this Christmas? Here's your chance- Enter our iPad 2 raffle!

$25 for your first ticket
$5 for each ticket after that
That's $50 for 6 chances to win!

We'll use a random number generator to pick the winner on December 16th. Need not be present to win. We'll even ship it to you! (within the United States only) Use the PayPal donate button on the blog. Be sure to tell us your donation is for the "iPad 2 raffle" and include your email address and phone number. We'll email you your raffle ticket(s) number(s).

And the best part is that when you buy a raffle ticket, you're helping our family come together. Spread the word and help us raise the money we need to complete this adoption! We are truly blessed by your support. Happy Holidays!

Thanksgiving Pie Sale

If you live in Ada, you'd be a real turkey not to buy one of these pies! Beautiful home-baked pies for your family and NO WORK for you! We'll even deliver it to your door. So why not buy a pie or two and help bring home three boys? This fund raiser is blessing not only our family, but also for our very dear friends Amy and Rob Schlup who are adopting Jimmy, a thirteen year old boy from Haiti. Check out their blog at bringinghomejimmy.blogspot.com

Pumpkin Pie for $10 OR Eggnog Pumpkin Pie for $15
Pecan Pie for $15 OR Caramel Pecan Cheesecake Pie for $20
Raisin Pie for $15 & Apple-Cranberry Pie for $20

Deliveries will be made Tuesday or Wednesday before Thanksgiving!
Call (580) 399-2562 OR email raschlup2007@msn.com to place your order TODAY!!!

Jimmy waiting for the Schlups in Haiti

Andrey and Ruslan waiting for us in Ukraine

This Thanksgiving, help bring our boys home where they belong!

Waiting Is Hard Work

We thought the gathering up of all our financial records was a burden. We thought being poked and prodded by our physician was painful. We thought notarizing and re-notarizing and apostilling was a bear. Driving to the city, ordering marriage licenses and birth certificates was a task. But nothing, I mean nothing, compares to this wait. There is absolutely nothing we can do to speed things along. We appreciate your prayers and words of encouragement. We are praying and seeking strength from scripture each day. I am constantly searching for passages on strength, hope, patience, endurance, etc. I know God is using this time to draw me closer to him. Just a little update today that there is no news but THE Good News. And that is sufficient for me.

Psalm 59:16-17 (NIV)
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. [17] O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.

Psalm 46:1-3 (NIV)
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. [2] Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, [3] though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah

Psalm 28:8-9 (NIV)
The Lord is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one. [9] Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever.

1 Corinthians 1:25 (NIV)
For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.

Psalm 28:7-8 (NIV)
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. [8] The Lord is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.

Exodus 15:2 (NIV)
The Lord is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father's God, and I will exalt him.

1 Thessalonians 5:8 (NIV)
But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.

1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV)
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I wish...

This post is from my heart to yours if you have a lop-sided marriage-heart for adoption. Several years ago, I had two little boys and my heart was content. Then, a friend of mine announced they were adopting three children from Uganda. She sent an email with their photo. I remember staring at it for a long time. I also remember thinking, "I wish we could adopt a child someday." I thought "wish", because I never imagined in a million years that it would be possible. You see, there was no way my husband would ever go for that...

I'm sad to say that it was not then that I began to petition God to change my husband's heart. I said a prayer or two, but quickly decided on my own that there was nothing to be done. How small my God was in my heart!

Years later, it was my husband who said we should sponsor a child in Ukraine. It was my husband who said we should fly across the world with our boys to help at camp in Ukraine. It was my husband who first said aloud the words I had whispered in my heart all those years ago: "I wish..." However, it seemed that he was worshiping the same small God that I had spoken to all those years ago. "I wish" was followed very quickly by a large BUT. The but was made of money...money and fear.

Every night of camp, I went to bed in tears. My heart began to ache. The day that Ruslan and Andrey were leaving camp, God moved in my heart. I felt called to write Ruslan a letter- a letter from my heart. Fear spoke to me. "This is not your child. He will not care what you have to say. It makes him no difference. Just let him go." Now, those of you who really know me know that I listen to fear like a teenager listens to their ipod- too loud and too often. But on that day, my God was just a little bigger than He had been before. He had flown me around the world. He had caused my husband to "wish". He had broken my heart. I got up early to make breakfast that morning. I sat on the edge of my bunk bed and began to write a letter. I wish I had it still. I know I said things like, "Keep God in the center of all that you do." and "You have so much potential." and "I know God has big things in store for you." I wrote through tears. I folded it up and put it in my back pocket. Fear whispered again. "Okay, you have it...but you're not going to give it to him. You know you won't." After breakfast that morning, I found the nerve to give it to the translator. I asked him to read it to Ruslan on the train ride home. This was definitely cheating. I was dodging the task. God wasn't havin' it. The translator went and got Ruslan. He translated it on the spot, right in front of me. Ruslan replied, "Thank you for loving me." We exchanged a hug. I walked back to the cabin in tears. I would never see this young man again for whom I cared so much, in whom I saw so much potential. I remember saying good-bye to the boys. Andrey, who rarely smiled all week, gave a big grin. I remember thinking, "That little toot! I've been trying to get him to smile all week and now he smiles? When they're leaving?" After hugs and good-byes, Levi ran back to the cabin, crying. Noah followed shortly thereafter.

God is funny. Had you asked me that day if we would ever consider adopting these boys, I would've said no. My heart for them was soft, but my fear of bringing teenagers into my home was much, much bigger.

Returning to America was not easy. The tears continued to fall each night. Tears for each of the kids we met. Tears for their past, for their present, and for their future. My prayers for adoption were constant. "Turn my husband's heart, God...(but only for babies...only for toddlers or babies...)" We began to encounter other families who were in the process of adopting from Haiti and Ethiopia. We attended benefits for them. My husband stood firm. He was resistant. And I was...submissive...surprisingly. (this is not my forte) My heart continued to ache. It ached to the point that it affected me physically. My hair was falling out. My hormones were going nuts. More migraines than before. I was falling apart. All the while, I prayed. It was during church that he passed me this note. "I think we should pursue it." I will never forget the peace that flooded my soul.



Although we were allowing God to lead us, fear was definitely a co-pilot. When we found out about a program through my husband's tribe that would allow us to adopt a child/children at no expense to us, that was the route my husband chose. I still had an ache for the children of Ukraine, but I was submissive. We completed the paperwork quickly. We had our home study. We took the classes. We had chosen to adopt a girl, ages 0-3 yrs. That's when the letters from Ruslan began to take a turn. His behavior was not good. His grades were dropping. His letters were of great concern to me because this was a GOOD kid. This was not in line with the child we met.

It was Josh who said it. "I wish we could've adopted them." Submissively, but not passively, I replied, "Well...we COULD have..." It was less than 24 hours later that Josh had spoken with our missionary friend in Ukraine about the situation. I could hardly speak about it. I could hardly believe he was considering this. My body would shake every time I imagined what that might be like. And what about our little girl? We both wanted that...but this felt urgent. And by the way, WHO WAS THIS MAN I WAS MARRIED TO? And who was this God who was leading him? This God was so big, I couldn't wrap my mind around what he was asking of us! It was not within my parenthesized request.

This post is from my heart to yours if you have a lop-sided marriage-heart for adoption. Several years ago, I had two little boys and my heart was content. Now I serve an enormous God, am married to a faithful man and am patiently waiting for my teenage sons to come home from Ukraine. I am prepared for whatever challenges we will face as a family because I serve an AMAZING God, who is more than capable of handling it all! Is adoption for everyone? No. But if you have felt the calling, get on your knees and don't get up again until you can stand in awe of what He has done in your life. Not only did God turn my husband's heart, he turned my own in a direction that I never expected! Be careful what you wish for...

No More Piece; Only Peace

We are so grateful to everyone who purchased a piece of our Piece By Piece Puzzle. The entire puzzle is completed, and a dear friend has offered to pay for the frame, as well! We are overwhelmed by your support, your encouragement and most of all, your prayers. This particular fund raiser was definitely a learning experience. Patience, patience, patience. As God placed each piece of this puzzle together, we know that He will place our boys in our home at just the right time. I am confident that His timing is much better than mine. Looking at this puzzle that was carefully put together over the last several months will be an excellent reminder of that. As your bought a piece, you brought us peace for sure. Here's the photo on the puzzle. Don't those faces just melt your heart? Brothers belong together.

Labor of Love

Romans 8:22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

I remember week 40 of both my pregnancies. I really had very easy pregnancies. My boys (despite their size now) were average babies. 7 1/2 pounds or so. But there was always an end in sight- a square to check off on the calendar. The DUE DATE. Both my boys took a week longer than we anticipated. And both were induced labors...so we could've been in for a much longer wait. The labors were different, though. With Levi, I had the pleasure of an epidural. I remember getting the epidural. And then I remember waking up to, "Mika, it's time to push." That's about all I remember. I do not remember his delivery. Kind of makes me sad. It's the reason we chose to video Noah's birth. With Noah, I received some pain relievers during my labor. But when the time came to push, it was out of nowhere and there was no time for an epidural. I felt EVERYTHING. I remember EVERYTHING. I literally cried out to God for strength during that delivery. I sang hymns! I preached a sermon! If I had to do it all over again, I would definitely choose no epidural. Sounds crazy, right? But there was something satisfying about the experience. It drew me closer to God. And I remember everything- the anticipation, the emotion, the pain and the joy.

As we wait to hear word from Ukraine, I am reminded of that labor. All this waiting and wondering will be worth it one day. There may not be a "due date." There are no squares to check off the calendar. But there is hope of a great day that is coming. In a way, labor has already begun. This is a labor of love. There are no epidurals to allow me to rest until their arrival. There is only life, slapping me in the face with sicks kids, lessons to be taught, recitals to organize, and soccer games to attend. In between contractions, I may have a tendency to complain. Morning bible study takes care of that real quick! Jesus' suffering was far greater when he chose to adopt me. So with every groan, I will think of the cross. Puts things into perspective for sure. Still, you will have to forgive me when I take a a deep breath every time I hear the words, "So when will your boys be coming home?". Deep breath. "We're just hoping for what we don't have...and waiting...patiently."

Witness

Today, I was blessed to witness the baptism of my niece Talia in Moorhead, Minnesota. I wasn't able to attend in person, but enjoyed the experience via the internet through their live worship site. It was a precious moment I will never forget. Last year, our son Levi was baptized and my in-laws, parents, brother and sister-in-law were all there for his special day. It is the most blessed event to celebrate for certain and most of us are lucky to have precious memories of that day in our lives. Levi and Talia are so blessed to have family surrounding them, in person or online. But today, I am reminded of the baptism I was unable to attend. Although it breaks my heart that I was not there for this proud moment, I am forever grateful for those who lead Ruslan to Christ and who were there to witness his decision.




May God surround Talia, Levi, and Ruslan with a cloud of witnesses that will help them run with perseverance the race marked out for each of them.

Please pray about sponsoring a child at the TLC. I promise you, your life will never be the same- and neither will theirs.

We Will Not Give Up

Just so you know, Satan- no matter how many obstacles you put in our way- no matter the wait, no matter the issue- we will NOT give up! We will be family to those boys...we are family to those boys. No matter the time or place, legal or not. With God on our side, you can try your best, but we will not be discouraged...He has always seen us through and we have no reason to believe that He won't this time. I said at the beginning of this process that I was in it NO MATTER THE OUTCOME because I knew He was in control. Guess what? HE STILL IS.

Those who stand with us, please kneel with us now. The SDA has issued us a registration number, but will not issue a travel date until they resume work (we are told this may be as long as 2 months). At the beginning of this process, we were told that the SDA would be closing and a new ministry would take it's place. God pushed that deadline WAYYYY back so we could submit to them before they closed. Now, they are officially closing (we are told). Pray that families that already have a registration number will be granted the right to travel as soon as possible. This affects our ability to be able to bring these two boys home, but it affects many other families in the process of adopting from Ukraine, as well. More importantly, it means that these children wait. This is a battle- a battle for the fatherless. Satan wants nothing more than to see families get discouraged and give up. Pray for the encouragement of those who wait. Pray for the children who are waiting for their forever families. Pray for a miracle to happen so that we can spend Christmas with our boys. My heart is heavy, but not broken. God is in control. His grace is sufficient for me, and His will is all I desire.

In Season

We spent yesterday in Norman, shopping for new Fall and Winter clothes for Levi and Noah. We do this every year, and every year, the boys grow a little faster than I thought they would. This year was no exception. It was, however, the first time that my kids began to think about style- what's in season. Noah fell in love with a fake leather jacket at Target. I've never witnessed such a romance. It was like they were separated at birth. When he acted up in the car on the way home, I wondered aloud whether we should give that jacket to another little boy. Noah replied, "But he wouldn't know how to take care of it!" Levi is at the age where he is really concerned what others think of him. I hate that. I want him to know his own worth, his value in the eyes of God. I miss the days where he hated to shop. His only words then were, "I don't care, Mom. Can we just go home?" Now it's, "Mom, that's lame." or "Wo! This is sick!" Time marches on without permission. My little boys are growing into young men quickly. Today, Noah's Science lesson was all about the rotation of the earth around the sun, explaining the "cycles" we go through each day and night and the season we go through each year. We spent a lot of time talking about our closeness to the sun and how it affects the seasons. I tried to impress upon him how amazing it is that God put us just the right distance from the sun- not too hot or too cold- just right. We couldn't stand it any closer or any further away. I began turning it over in my head. We are in a new season for sure, right here in the Hinson household. Big changes approach. Just the wondering is enough to make us spin out of orbit! But we are trying to maintain our position, facing the Son. Every day, someone asks the dreaded question, "When will your boys be coming home?" Every day, my reply is the same, "I don't know. We're just waiting." It gets a little more difficult to say each time. But even in this uncertain season, God is constant. He knows the date of their home coming.

He said to them,"It is not for you to know times or seasons that the Father has fixed by his own authority." Acts 1:7


"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9


"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal;a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh;a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose;a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew;a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate;a time for war, and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

So we will kick back and relax in this season, knowing that God will provide- He always has.

Whatever season you are in, blessings upon you and your family.

Congratulations!!!!

Congratulations to Carissa O'Dell, winner of the Pendleton blanket raffle! Noah drew her name today at 5:00 in the parking lot of Mardel Christian book store. Much love to all those who supported our adoption through this raffle. We are truly blessed.

A Visit From God

I love the way adoption stirs the hearts of people. This is Marah Canfield. Marah showed up on my couch while I was teaching a piano lesson. She drove all the way out to our country home just to buy a puzzle piece. Marah has never been to our house. She had to get directions from her sister. Normally, I write the donor's name on the back of each piece. Today, Marah signed the back of her piece and slid it right into place on the puzzle. Your donations and your prayers do what Marah quite literally did today- piece our family together. We are forever grateful. Whether it takes a stamp, a punch of a paypal button or a drive to our home, it means so much when other people lend their support to our cause. Whether or not they know it, they are a part of a great master plan. We made this decision of faith to adopt knowing that God would provide a way to pay for this monster adoption bill. Every donation, big or small, is a moment of God's faithfulness being revealed to us. So a visit from Marah today felt very much like a visit from God. We are so very blessed by this experience.

Piece BUY Piece on SALE!!!!

Now that all four boys have been pieced together, help us finish up the puzzle and get it into the frame! The remaining pieces are now "on sale". Only $15/piece! We want to get this framed and up on the wall during October. Help us reach our goal. Spread the word! (feel free to use the share on facebook link at the bottom of the blog)

Faces (Four) We Adore

We began the puzzle fundraiser back in June. I remember seeing the empty spot on our table. I remember smiling as the first few pieces took their place. I remember loving seeing Levi's face appear, then Noah's...but feeling a sense of great joy at the sight of Ruslan's face and waiting for what seemed like eons to see Andrey's face appear. Now that all faces (four) we adore are on the board, it is beginning to feel a lot like reality. We are waiting for word from Kiev about our dossier. We pray that it will be approved soon without trouble and that they will give us an appointment date very soon. The longer we wait, the longer they wait. The thought of Andrey in that orphanage is killing me. I feel very secure with where Ruslan is because I know the people who operate the TLC and they are wonderful, Christian people who truly care about those kids. If you haven't checked out jeremiahshope.org, you really need to. It's a wonderful ministry that I would highly recommend you become a part of in some way. Sponsor a child this year. The experience will be a blessing for both of you.

We are hoping to get the rest of Andrey on the puzzle quickly, as the bulk of our expense is coming up very soon, we hope (travel to Ukraine). Please consider buying a piece of Andrey today! It looks like there are about 28 pieces of him left to go. Once he is complete, we will put the rest of the puzzle "on sale." We hope to have this puzzle completed by the time we travel so that we can frame it and put it up in our home as a reminder that so many open hearts brought these boys home. We are forever grateful for the encouragement and support we receive from those near and far. I am overwhelmed by how God has blessed us. He continues to show His faithfulness to us each step of the way.

Yet ANOTHER way to give...or confuse you with a crowded blog...

Taking Pre-Orders On These T-Shirts NOW!!!



Don't you need this shirt? Original art by my guy and Chickasaw artist, Joshua Hinson. $15 (plus $5 shipping if necessary). Use the paypal donate button to the left and make a note of the size and shipping address. One more way to bring 'em home!

Let's Talk Tacos!

If you live locally, please plan to be at our Indian Taco Sale Friday, September 23rd from 11:00 to 2:00!


Asbury United Methodist Church
508 West 6th
Ada, OK 74820

We will be selling:

Indian taco, cake and drink ($6)
bowl of pishofa ($1)
Deliveries made to CNMC, HQ, and Commerce at 11:00, 12:00 and 1:00. (Minimum five per order.)

We will also be selling puzzle pieces, prints, raffle tickets and more at the church. Please spread the word and help us raise a good bit of our adoption costs this Friday. Everybody's gotta eat...so bring a friend! Bring two! Or twelve! And spread the word!

Pendleton Raffle

Win this beautiful Pendleton blanket, designed by the one and only Joshua Hinson. Tickets are:

1 for $1
and
6 for $5.

The raffle will take place October 10. This is a beautiful blanket, new in box. Help us bring our boys home! Pay Pal with a message that says "raffle tickets" or pay by check/cash in person or by mail to: 17559 CR 3518 Ada, OK 74820.

What's Cookin'?

Ruslan has graduated 9th grade and is enrolled in technical school this Fall. He loves to cook...and eat! So he has elected to study cooking! Tanya sent along these pictures of him on his birthday dressed in his Chef's uniform. We're so proud. We love the FOOD Network and can't wait to welcome our new Iron Chef into the family.

Dossier- Be On Your Way!

Three months of paper chasing...doing and redoing documents...pleasing officials and pacing ourselves...All I could think when that FedEx guy stuffed our dossier into the envelope was, "Hey, be careful with that! It's my BABY!" There is really no way to insure this document. Technically, it's worth the $230 it took to apostille each page and the value of the paper itself, but FedEx will only reimburse us $100 if it's lost. It should arrive in Kiev on Wednesday. Please pray that nothing prevents it from getting there. Once it arrives, Nina (our facilitator) will finish the translation she has already begun based on the scanned images we sent her of each document. When it has all been translated, she will turn it over to the SDA. Then we wait for our appointment date to be set. We are hopeful that this may be in November, but there are no guarantees. Thank you for checking on our progress, for caring about our boys (all of them) and most importantly, thank you for your prayers! We see God in motion throughout this process. Your prayers are being heard. God is great! We are so grateful for this opportunity to serve Him.

Chickasaw Art Prints to Benefit our Adoption

So for any visitors to our blog that might not know, I'm an enrolled tribal citizen of the Chickasaw Nation and in addition to my work with the Chickasaw Language Revitalization Program, I am also a tribal artist.

Here's an opportunity to help fund our adoption and get some great art prints to boot. Chokfi' (Rabbit) and Chakwihili' (Possum), 6"x6" image, signed giclee prints, 200 year archival ink on 100% rag paper - $25 including shipping to your door, $20 local hand-delivered. Follow the PayPal link, note which print(s), quantity, shipping address, pay with whatever method you care to and you'll have prints in hand in a few short days.

Don't use PayPal? Send a check with a note enclosed to our home address, 17559 CR 3518 Ada, OK 74820.

Chokma'shki / yakkookay (thanks) -
Lokosh (Joshua D Hinson)

A Small Price to Pay

Tomorrow, we will travel to the State Capital to have all our documents (the culmination of over three months of work) apostilled. There are 21 pages to be apostilled at $10/page. The cost to Fed Ex this group of documents will be well over $100. After it has been shipped, we will wire our facilitator the $600 she needs. It's a large sum of money, but a small price to pay for family. WE have made this decision. We are ultimately responsible and are working hard to bring these boys home. However, your prayers and support and very much needed and appreciated. Maybe you're adopted. Perhaps you have a heart for the fatherless. Maybe you've always wanted to adopt, but your spouse doesn't feel the same way. Or maybe you were blessed with an amazing family (like my husband and I were) and you need an opportunity to show your gratefulness and help someone who hasn't had it so easy. Prayerfully consider buying a piece of our puzzle for $25. We are also working on a t-shirt fundraiser (using Josh's art) and an Indian Taco sale later in the month.

Want to give? Use the pay-pal donate button on the right. (non-tax deductible gifts)

Want to give AND receive a tax deduction?
Mail a check made out to "Jeremiah's Hope" to us at 17559 CR 3518 Ada, OK 74820. Make no mention of our adoption on the check, simply include a note about the intent of your gift. We'll mail them to this wonderful ministry that put these boys in our path in groups of 10.

More importantly, please continue to pray for us. Pray that there are no issues with the apostilles. Pray that our precious documents arrive safely in Kiev. Pray that our dossier is well received by Ukranian officials. Pray for our family, near and far. Pray! Pray! Pray! We are so blessed by your prayers.

Happy Birthday, Ruslan!

Want to wish Ruslan a happy 17th birthday? Let's see if we can sell 17 pieces of the puzzle today! Click the donate button to use Pay Pal or if you want a tax-deductible donation, make your check out to Jeremiah's Hope and send it to us at:
17559 CR 3518
Ada, OK 74820
Leave me a message that you're buying a piece and we'll add your "birthday gift" to the puzzle!
We've got a long way to go to reach our goal. Thank you to all who've blessed our journey so far- by prayer and puzzle piece! :)

They Like Me, They Really Like Me!!!

I feel like Sally Fields as I open my notice of favorable disposition concerning the application for advance processing of an orphan petition. It's not an oscar, but it may as well be. The government thinks we're suitable parents!!! Good thing, since we already have two children. Having just been fingerprinted last Tuesday, we were really shocked to get this so quickly. We had been told that it would be a few weeks. God must have pulled some strings here. ;) What does this mean? It means that as soon as we get our marriage license apostilled (on its way to Austin, TX as I type...with an overnight Fed Ex return envelope enclosed), we can send our dossier off to Ukraine. I can't wait! I may kiss the Fed Ex agent that helps us! At that point, it could be around a two month wait...but we're not limiting God here...so keep those prayers coming!

O Brother

Today we got a beautiful letter from a lady we do not know who met our boys this summer. She had wonderful things to say about them both and shared a collage of photos with us. Here's my favorite. Brothers being brothers. They're gonna fit right in.

Greeting and Salutations

Throughout my life, I have received many greetings. Hey! Hello! How are ya? Happy Birthday! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! But none have stirred my heart quite like this:



For the first time, Ruslan has referred to us as his family. It's funny how something so small can mean so much, but it does. When you give birth to a child, they have no choice but to call you their family. It's all they've ever known. But this is a new experience for us ALL. Nothing is a "given." We are honored that he would think of us as family. And we can't wait til he's home!

"Let's Start Talking" had a group visit the kids in Ukraine. The boys really enjoyed it. And they had some sort of pirate-themed party. Ruslan and Andrey sent Levi and Noah their pirate patches. The boys wore them proudly all afternoon and then hung them on their bulletin boards so they wouldn't lose their gift from their new big brothers.



Argh!

In closing, Ruslan says, "I am glad that we'll be a family soon. I am looking forward to our meeting. God bless you for your love." We echo those sentiments! Right back atcha, kiddo! We long for the day when we can say, face to face, "Hello, family!"

The Nest is Coming Along Nicely...

Here are a few pics of the boys rooms. I didn't upload a pic of Levi's side of the room because he hasn't picked it up today and it pretty much looks like Andrey's with different posters/wall hangings. We need to buy a school desk for Andrey still. And there's still some decorating to be done here and there. Still gotta work on clearing out closets. My goal was to get it mostly done before school started. We start tomorrow, so mission accomplished!

Andrey's Side of the Room:





Noah's Room:



Ruslan's Room:

Nesting

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4

This week, as we move beds around and put new beds together, this passage keeps coming back to me. It is because of the love of Jesus and our faith in His promise that we have made this decision to adopt. We already have two children and could have more if we wanted to. It's not about filling a need for us. We're being driven by love...perfect love.

Normally, like any couple I imagine, we fight when putting furniture together. Nuts and bolts are flying, directional skills are challenged and red-headed tempers flair! But this was different somehow. There was no irritation. We worked beautifully as a team. It caught us both by surprise. This verse kept singing over me. We were simply doing what Jesus is doing for us all...preparing a place for us as a show of good faith that there WILL be a home coming.

When I was pregnant with Levi and then with Noah, I did the same thing. I picked out colors and themes. I arranged furniture and pictures on the walls. Then and now, in the background was the fatherly, "do they really need that?" Then and now, I would explain, "I'm nesting! Let me nest!" They are not MY babies. They are not babies at all. And that makes me work a little harder on their "nests." Unlike a baby, they will be aware of the detail that went into their rooms. I want their rooms to say, "My new family wanted me. My new family prepared for me. My new family wanted me to feel at home here." And in the process, we are also working on Levi and Noah's quarters. I want them to feel a special place in "the nest", too.

I feel like God must understand how my heart feels. He had a "birth family", so to speak. And yet, he chose to adopt me through grace and bring me into His forever family. He's preparing a place for me now. I bet my room's a lot cooler than this:







The nest is not quite done. More pics to come later.

Life Moves On...

While we wait, life moves on- for us and for them. The boys have been at camp in Ivankiev (where we met them last summer). And now they are participating in church camp back in Mariupol. Meanwhile, Levi, Noah and I tagged along with Daddy on a business trip to Santa Fe. It was nice to get away- away from the heat of Oklahoma and away from the "what ifs" of adoption world. Just before we left, our facilitator told us that our home study was done being translated. We're just waiting for clearance from USCIS. So while we wait, why not enjoy a little vacation? The boys and I enjoyed the museums, art galleries, visits with old friends from Albuquerque and pool time every day...not to mention the amazing weather (never hotter than 82 degrees). On the second day there, I received an email from Nina that the boys are officially available for international adoption. That was a huge relief as we are acquainted with a family that went through the whole process only to find that the boy they were intending to adopt was not available. We had a little party right there in the hotel room! Noah said, "Then when can we go get them, Mom?" I explained that there was still more paperwork to complete. "But how long does it take Mom? Like three years or what?" Poor guy! If I think it's difficult to be patient, I can't imagine how hard it is for someone who thinks a 6 minute time-out is a long time! The next day, we received an email that Andrey had asked when we would be able to skype next. This was significant for me because Andrey is so quiet that we often wonder if he enjoys our visits. So, before we left to return to Oklahoma, we skyped with the boys in Ukraine. We told them about our trip and they told us about camp. Ruslan finally rapped for us! We'd all been looking forward to that. He was very good and I was just glad that he would share his gift with us in that kind of setting! I know that I would MUCH rather sing for thousands of people than sing to four people in a room staring at me. Levi decided to rap for Ruslan. It seemed to bring a smile to his face. We love these conversations as they are our only "real" interaction with the boys for now. I appreciate Tanya so much for taking her time to make this happen. I cannot imagine only having letters. But it kills us to say good-bye. It's difficult to lose them with the press of a touch-screen button. All the way home, Josh and I wondered aloud how our family will change...what will they think of us...what will we think of them...will it be simpler than these two thinkers imagine or more difficult than we could ever dream? When we got home, our fingerprint appointment notices were in the mail. August 23. We've been told by others that it's only another 2-3 weeks past this appointment that we should receive USCIS clearance. Once that happens, we'll be able to send off the dossier. From that point, it's around 2 months until we get our appointment in Ukraine. It's beginning to look like Christmas is a real possibility! OF COURSE IT IS!!! What am I saying? With God ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!! I am praying constantly, His nagging daughter. And I know that if it is His will, we will have two more stockings to hang this year.

O Me Of Little Faith

There are mornings that I wake up and the adoption is all I can think about. The what ifs- the worries- the whens. Being type A and adopting DO NOT always mix well. Half the battle is just not knowing. But God never ceases to amaze me. He always sends comfort when I need it most. And it seems to come in waves, too- several things at once. The last few days have been a perfect example of that comfort. On Saturday night, we finally got around to measuring for beds to go in Levi and Andrey's rooms. We're refinancing the house and will be getting some money back at closing, so we thought we'd use some of that money for their room. Now I usually do enough worrying for the both of us, but this one got Josh's goat. Money, money, money. But they needed beds. And our purchase was very frugal. We did all our shopping online at WalMart.com (free shipping site to store). The next day, my parents called and said they wanted to buy the beds for us. God is good. Money is a concern, but the concerns of a mother may be more internal. I worry that the boys will feel out of place here- that they will feel like no one understands them (language and culture). On Tuesday, I was searching the k12 directory for other home school families in the area- thinking of Levi and Noah. One family jumped off the screen. Their 15 year old daughter's bio said, "born in Ukraine- speaks Russian." I emailed them right away. Turns out they adopted their daughter three years ago and they live about 30 minutes away. God is good. I worry and once again, God says, "I've got it all under control- cut it OUT!" The same day, 7 pieces of the puzzle sold and we received confirmation that our i600a was at USCIS being reviewed! God is good.

I am no different than the children of Israel. No matter what God does for me, I choose worry over trust almost every time. I know God is using His refiner's fire through this process to change me. Beyond a fundraiser, this puzzle is a constant reminder that God sees the big picture for our family. He is bringing us together piece by piece in His way and in His time. Shame on me for every fret and fear. May His perfect love cast out all fear within me! I am humbled that He chooses to love this doubtful daughter.

I love this Nickel Creek song. If you haven't heard it, you MUST. Here are the powerful lyrics:

"Doubting Thomas"

What will be left when I've drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who've known me
Will I discover a soul-saving love
Or just the dirt above and below me

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
But I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward
If there's a master of death
I bet he's holding his breath
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises
Cause I don't know what's safe
Oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die

Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted

I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take your promise
Though I know nothin's safe
Oh me of little faith