I'll Fly Away- O Glory!

Good news! We have a court date officially set for Tuesday. Wish it could be sooner, but the holidays have prevented it. New Years is a big deal in Ukraine. So we will wait and be grateful that at least we have an official date. After court, I will ride the train back with Denis to Kiev. I'll spend one night there with our new friends the Petersons and then fly out on the fifth. I have many flights in a row to get home. I could've gone with a few other flight options, but this one gets me back the quickest. I am more than ready to be reunited with my babies. Your prayers for safe travels for me are appreciated. Also pray for Josh- he will be here with the boys on his own. I know it will be a lonely time for him but also a great opportunity to continue the bonding process.

Out of Control

I'm sitting here in the dining room of the TLC, taking advantage of the wifi and waiting on my load in the wash. Alexandra taught me how to make borscht today, so the smell of that is wafting into the room. Josh is at the soccer field with the boys. I'm getting the play by play via cell phone from time to time. It sounds like a pretty good day, and I am blessed for sure, but I spent the first hour of my morning in tears. I'm loving every minute that I get to spend with these boys and they are opening up and accepting us so nicely...BUT...I miss my bio babies like crazy and I'm ready to go HOME. Ideally, we would've received news that court will be held tomorrow (as originally planned), but this morning Nina told us that the earliest we would get our paperwork back would be tomorrow and that doesn't give Denis enough time to get to Mariupol with it. It's New Years this weekend, and the courts will be closed Monday, as well. So that leaves us hoping for Tuesday, January 3. If I had known it would take this long, perhaps I would've come back to America. I don't know. Maybe not. It would've been a tight turn around and very expensive. I am also reminded of what I would've missed. I would've missed the "getting to know you" moments that I will forever cherish in my heart. God's timing is perfect- and as hard as it is for this type A girl to admit, I am thankful that I am NOT in control. Our American boys seem to be doing very well, but I know that this has got to be weighing on them heavily. I am having to learn to trust God with that, too.
I don't want to bum you out here, but adoption is HARD. It's also the best thing I've ever experienced. It's a lot like giving birth. I'm sure I'll walk away only remembering the happy ending, but for now, I'm stuck with no epidural and no end to the contractions in sight.
Maybe the best thing to do is to focus on the blessings in the wait. I could go on for hours about those. Sometimes, it's difficult to believe how beautiful it all is. It's like I'm in a movie or something. Yesterday, my favorite line in the "script" was: "Mama want tea or coffee?" Neither, but please ask again...and often. We took the boys to the Shocktar stadium in Donetsk (their favorite soccer team). They had never been before. We paid for a tour of the stadium and they got to sit in the locker room, touch the field, sit in the players seats and run through the players tunnel! It was amazing and such a blessing to give them those moments. Our good friend Pasha was our "tour guide", translator and companion for the day. It was a lot of fun! Staying busy helps me focus on the boys I have access to and not pine too much for the ones I don't.
Thank you for praying for our family and for the encouraging words. One day, this will all be a memory. For now, we are living in the moment and waiting on God to finish what He started in our hearts.

A quick update from Mariupol

We are waiting (the theme of 2011) for the SDA to give us approval for court. We were originally told we would have court on December 30, but the last time I spoke with Nina, she said she imagined that would not be possible and that January 3 was more likely. We are patient as we have learned the benefits of God's timing.
If we had been given an SDA referral back in November, as we had hoped, Andrey would be in the orphanage for our entire time here. But because of God's timing, we are able to spend everyday with him here at the TLC because he has a holiday pass to be with his brother and their temporary guardian. Due to this blessing, we have enjoyed many days with both our boys playing video games, poker, watching movies, going to the market, watching Ruslan play soccer, drinking coffee, eating chocolate and riding the bus over and over again. This is a very unique situation for adoptive parents to be in. We feel God's hand here- there is no doubt. 
Some highlights that will stay in my heart forever:
-goodnight hugs
-FIFA soccer matches on the iPhone " Manchester United- girls!"
-brotherly behavior, me- "you are so mean to him!", Ruslan- "Andrey like."
-learning to share the laptop, me- "Tomorrow Andrey gets it first.", Andrey- "ha!"
-our tour guide/translator/son Ruslan
-watching Andrey "skate" on the ice all through town
-awkward morning reconnections (2 steps forward, 1 step back)
-cooking Mexican food for the kids at the TLC and then watching my boys inhale two plates each
-watching Elf (our favorite holiday movie) dubbed in Russian
-the first I love you in Russian from Andrey
 Although it is difficult for this American girl to be in Ukraine for over two weeks now, I am grateful for the opportunity to be here with them. I have to tell you that perhaps my favorite moments are times when I can care for them/clean up after them; general mothering moments. Today, Ruslan went out with a friend. We had the first "where are you going- when are you going to be back" talk. He teased us that maybe he would be back tomorrow or the next day. We asked if he needed any money. No. Then a quick "love you" and a hug. It's small, but significant- and yet, felt very natural at this point. All signs point to family.
We are asking you to continue to pray for our situation- quick court date, favorable outcome, safe travel and smooth family adjustment. Thank you for your continued support.

Stairway to Heaven

Yesterday, I spent an hour and a half in a stairwell with many strangers. Does that sound like a recipe for a spiritual revival? Probably not, but it was. When Josh and I made it back to the SDA for our referral, we saw a man and his daughter walking in the gate ahead of us. I knew immediately who they were. Andrew Kelly had introduced us (by email) to a family that had an appointment at the SDA the same day as us. We had read one another’s blogs and emailed back and forth a few times, so I knew who these two were. I introduced myself (in person) and we began to chat outside. It turns out they are using the same facilitator as we are, and when Denis asked us to step inside, we did so, continuing to share our experiences since we had landed in Ukraine. The father we met is from Texas. and his wife is at home with their children. Due to medical reasons, she was able to stay home. Their teenage daughter came with her dad. Our conversation continued as the stairwell we were waiting in began to fill up with people, most of whom were Americans. One by one, we heard each other’s stories. The father I mentioned told about their 10 children, most of whom are adopted internationally, others biological, etc. He has a powerful story to tell. Adoption is a mission for their family, and he is not shy to say so. Another couple was there from Georgia. They told their story. They are adopting a 15 year old girl they hosted for a summer and a winter session. They didn’t host with the intent to adopt. But when you fall in love with a child, intentions go right out the window. They have left their six year old daughter at home with her grandparents. Then another story, then another, still more…

Adopting can be a lonely experience. You get a lot of “whys” and “buts” from well-meaning people. You get a lot of polite nods and even some out-right rude comments. So when you meet others who are in the process, it feels like a family reunion or something.

That stairwell was hot. There was no place to sit down. We stood for an hour and a half, sharing our stories, and I don’t remember feeling uncomfortable even once. Denis came in to reassure us that he had spoken with the director and they would be down within 20 minutes or so with all of our referrals. We continued sharing. Each story had a different twist or turn, but in the end, we were all there because of one adoption- our own adoption…into grace. Jesus lead us all into that stairwell. And for just a moment, I could feel His presence on the steps, listening to all of us share what He has done with our hearts. I’ve never felt anything like it. I’d stay in the stairwell for a year just feel that again. It’s what I imagine heaven will feel like.

After our wait was over, Josh and I were the second couple to be called in for our referrals. We had to show our passports and sign another “official” piece of graph paper. When we were finished, we said good-bye to everyone, promising to pray for each of their families. Josh lead me under a tree in the front of the building and prayed a beautiful prayer of thanksgiving. It was a moment I will treasure always.

We will travel by train (with that father and his daughter) to Mariupol on Sunday afternoon. It is a 16 hour train ride. Once we arrive, we have an appointment with the inspector and the orphanage director. I’m not sure if we meet with anyone else or not. That’s what I’ve been told so far. Of course, we are more than ready to see the boys! We will be staying in the TLC with Ruslan, so we will see him Monday for sure. Not sure about Andrey. As soon as all of our paperwork is in order, Denis has to hand-deliver it back to Kiev. So that will take another 16 hour train ride or we may decide to pay for him to fly, depending on the cost. Once it’s back in Kiev and approved, they will set a court date, and I will know when I can come home. I have to either stay for the court date or leave and come back for it. I’m very hopeful that it will be before the first of the year so I can attend it and then go home for good. Fighting jetlag twice does not sound like fun! And of course, I am ready to be back home with Levi and Noah.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. What a journey we are on! And you all have helped make it possible. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

iPad Raffle 2 winner

We sold 227 tickets - and number 196 was selected.

Congratulations to Deeanne Litton of Waco, Texas! And thank you to all the many ticket holders. We are forever grateful for your support! We were able to raise over $1,000! Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow!

Merry Christmas, Deeanne!

Mathematic Anxiety

We met Denis (our facilitator's husband) at the French bakery this morning and followed him many blocks to the SDA. The building is located directly next to St. Andrew's Cathedral, but it hardly looks official. There were men working on the grounds with shovels and wheel barrows. The iron gate, with paper signs taped on it, was locked. We waited for about 10 minutes that felt like about 10 hours. Once the guard came and let us in, we were told to wait in a stair well. Then the case worker came and invited us into her office. I was amazed at what I saw. There were a few book cases with binders labeled 2004, 2005, etc. We were invited to sit down and she sat opposite us, with our dossier in her hands. She rearranged the papers in her hands, and I caught a glimpse of a picture. Andrey's face was staring at me through her fingers.

She spoke in rapid fire Russian with Denis. After some words, she began to rub her temples. She looked concerned or frustrated. "Don't panic, Mika. God's got this," I told myself. Then I heard it. I don't speak Russian, but I do know how to count. I heard 33, and I heard 17. My gut sank. Didn't we do this math before? Let me back up- in Ukraine, the law says parents must be a minimum of 15 years older than the children they are adopting. 33 and 17. 33 and 17. I forgot how to do subtraction. Apparently, so did she. Denis got out his cell phone. Who was he calling? Oh wait- he's using his calculator. 33 minus 17. I'll give you a minute to do the calculations. No cheating, please.

You done? Yes, it's 16. We're fine. Josh is 16 years older than Ruslan. Sigh. Of. Relief.

So after our mathematical heart attack, it was all good. She said some things to us which Denis translated. She told us their parents are known and their rights have been terminated. She said they are in good health, although Andrey has a minor health concern. Nothing to worry about. She asked us how we know them and if they know we are coming for them, etc. After our interactions with her, she and Denis spoke back and forth. You always wonder if it's about you or if they're talking about the weather. But in about half an hour, it was over and she told us to come back tomorrow between 3 and 4 for our referral. Then we were asked to sign the official SDA registry, saying that these were the children we want to adopt. I know what you're picturing- an official document, maybe a seal or a notary required. After all the paper chasing we did in Oklahoma- all the notaries and apostilles- in Ukraine, we signed a hand written document on a piece of graph paper in a binder. I had to laugh.

So really, the only stress of the appointment centered around Math. Isn't it always the culprit? If there's one equation I will always remember now, it's 33-17=16. It does. Really. I checked.

Keep Walking

The last two days have been full of many steps. We had a layover in London for a little less than 24 hours, so we made the most of it by visiting the British Museum of History. It was full of amazing artifacts! I saw things I never imagined I would see in person- only in books. As we were viewing the Rosetta Stone, my feet and legs began to cramp. Each step became more painful than the last. But what could I do? We're not at home, so I can't jump in the car. The only choice I had? Keep walking. We made it back to the hotel. I took some ibuprofen and slept like a baby. The next morning, we boarded our second plane to Kiev. While here in Kiev, we are staying with an amazing American family. They have been more than hospitable to us. The first night, Marci took us all over the city, showing us the best places to bank, eat, shop, etc. The city of Kiev is full of history! It's a beautiful place. And guess how you see it all? You keep walking. Day two of foot and leg cramps. This morning, we met with our facilitator at a local french bakery. We had a very good meeting and enjoyed getting to know her and her husband, who will be accompanying us on our trip to Mariupol. However, we cannot go to Mariupol until we have received a referral letter from the SDA. We have our appointment with them tomorrow and hope to receive our letter by Friday. Until then, we really have nothing to do. But the jet lag makes it impossible to relax in our very nice apartment. We would sleep all day for sure! (Kiev is 8 hours ahead of Oklahoma) So what do we do? Keep walking. Today, we saw St. Sophia's, the Golden Gate and other beautiful sites. Day three of foot and leg cramps, now accompanied by bloody toes from breaking in my new boots.

I'm not complaining. Putting our family together is worth any amount of suffering, and I'm sure this is the least of things to come. Missing my American boys is rubbing my heart far worse than these boots are rubbing my toes! But I remain convinced that God will see us through all of this and more, if we just...keep walking. Each step is a step toward our Ukrainian boys coming home. Praise God and pass the ibuprofen!

How Far Love Goes, Part 3

The last few days have been filled with emotional highs and lows. There are so many things to share with you and so many things that should remain only in my heart. I am unable to post pictures at this time because of our Internet restrictions, but I will as soon as I return to America.

We have been in Mariupol for three days now. Monday, we arrived by train and very quickly got to work. First stop- the inspector. It is his job to protect the rights of the children. After this, he rode with us to the orphanage. The orphanage is very old. It is not at all a pleasant place. I find it very difficult seeing children there, knowing that they will call this home until they graduate. We had a short visit with the director and then in came a familiar face! Andrey came to us immediately with a hug. He is very shy and quiet, but he seemed happy to see us. The director spoke with him at length about who we are, how he knows us, if he wants to be our son, etc. I couldn't understand most of what he said. But I heard, "Dah. Dah. Dah." (yes, yes, yes) Later, our facilitator told us he was saying yes to wanting to be our son. "are you sure?" "Dah!"
After we finished the interview, we were able to have a private visit with him. We showed him pictures and videos on my phone. He smiled and laughed at many things. He seems to like the dogs the best. We said our goodbyes and he ran off with his friends.

Then we went to Ruslan's trade school. The director there began to cry when she learned of our intentions. It was a much warmer place than the orphanage. There was a clear difference here. She seemed to care about Ruslan. The only time the orphanage director has smiled at us was when we made our "donation." Anyway, we kept answering questions, wondering wether or not Ruslan would come in the room. Finally, the TLC director called me and said Ruslan was not at the school, he was at the hospital getting his physical for the adoption. So we made arrangements to return later. This would give the trade school time to work on the papers. They have never had a student from this school be placed for adoption. They had no idea what they were doing, but were extremely cooperative.

We went to the TLC to unload our luggage and saw several kids we knew and dear, sweet Alexandra. She fed us soup and we caught up a little bit before it was time to go again. When we returned to the trade school, we waited in the assistant directors office until Ruslan showed up. What a sight for road weary eyes! Such a young man now! Hugs, hugs, awkward stares- then a rather serious interview. The director came in and asked A LOT of questions. It was clear she wanted to protect his interests. I don't understand Russian, but there were things I caught onto. She asked him where we lived. Before she could even finish her sentence, he interrupted- "Ada." (he pronounces it Ah-duh) I heard him interrupt her many times- "Chickasaw, music professor, two brothers, Levi, Noah", etc. He made sure she knew that he knew us well. After some very kind words from the director, we were let go and went into the hallway to catch up. The language barrier is tricky, but a good smile goes a long way. He ran outside and brought in his best friend to meet us. We showed them both lots of pictures and videos. When we were done, we returned to the TLC, road weary, but happy.

The next day was filled with more paperwork. We could not see Andrey, which was disappointing. That night, Ruslan took us to a professional basketball game. We road the bus, which is quite an experience! I'm experiencing a little PTSD I think! It was nice to be with him and his friends at the game. When we went back to the TLC, he fed Josh sala (a traditional Ukrainian dish that I wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole, but Josh loves!). It was full of awkward silence, but precious moments, too. Ruslan always finds a way to make us laugh! He is goofy! He tried Josh's hot sauce. Hysterical! (Yes, Josh brought hot sauce to Ukraine).

As I said before, there is a lot to share- and some things will remain treasures of my heart. The hours are filled with opportunities to bond. It's a guessing game as to what they are thinking, but one thing is clear- this is the time when we prove ourselves to them, and they both seem to be receptive. They have had very difficult lives for such young boys. Why should they trust us to do any better than the other adults in their lives? I hope we pass the test. Ultimately, it is God who is knitting us together as a family, so we continue to pray for Him to open our eyes to what they need- open our ears to what they are trying to say- and open our hearts to their point of view.

The paperwork is complete and now we wait on the SDA to approve it. A court date has been set for December 30. Once we go to court, I will come home. Josh will remain here. There is a 10 day waiting period after court. Then they will get new birth certificates, new passports and be off to Kiev to complete the US embassy side of things. We hope they will be home by mid-January. Meanwhile, the days ahead of us are a great time for bonding and learning to trust one another with our hearts. Thank you for praying for our family. We are forever grateful for your support!

This song has been in my heart through it all. This process is stretching our hearts. You always wonder how far your heart can be stretched before it breaks. I guess mine must be made of some kind of self-healing fabric, because it has broken so many times and keeps growing back together, stronger than before. God is the ultimate example of how far love goes.

Romans 8:38, 39-"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I think God is using this adoption to teach me how far His love goes- His love for Ruslan and Andrey, but maybe even more, His love for me. He is using a broken, sinner to change the lives of two innocent children. I am so not worthy of this task- but this is how far HIS love goes.

"Before the mountains call to you
Before you leave this home
I will teach your heart to trust
As I will teach my own
But sometimes I will ask the moon
Where it shined upon you last
And shake my head and laugh and say
It all went by too fast

You'll fly away
but take my hand until that day
So when they ask how far love goes
When my job's done, you'll be the one who knows."

-Dar Williams

How Far Love Goes, Part 2

This post is for my boys- the children whom I have been blessed with for 11 and 6 years. I'm always posting for the other two, but even though half of my heart is in Ukraine, the other half is right here, in Ada, Oklahoma. And in a few days, I will have to leave that half behind. Everyone keeps telling me that kids are resilient and "They'll be fine!". But that doesn't stop my heart from breaking at the very thought of Christmas morning without them. Yesterday, we had a long, tearful talk in the truck parked just outside the house. I told them that this is a time for us to understand the true meaning of family. Even when we're apart, we stand together. We made a decision as a family to invite these boys into our home, and this is what it takes to get them here. The boys both agreed. One thing I've always told them, and I hope they remember this without rolling their eyes at Mommy, is "Anything worth while takes time." I usually follow it up with, "Remember when Mommy had Noah in my tummy? It was 9 long months, but when he was finally born, wasn't it worth the wait?" We talk about it when we're baking cookies or learning multiplication tables. Anything worth while takes time. And although I fool myself into thinking that I have some amount of control over their time away from us- the bottom line is that it is God who is ALWAYS watching over them, even while we're together. I'm sure that this is an opportunity for Him to remind us that we are only their earthly parents. God is using this adoption journey to mold all of our hearts.

"All the things you treasure most
Will be the hardest won
I will watch you struggle on
Before the answers come
But I won't make it harder
I'll be there to cheer you on
I'll shine the light that guides you down
The road you're walking on

You'll fly away
but take my hand until that day
So when they ask how far love goes
When my job's done, you'll be the one who knows."
-Dar Williams

How Far Love Goes

Our Thanksgiving pie sale was such a success! We sold 81 pies...and ate one more. (shh) This sale was a benefit for our adoption and our friend's who are adopting Jimmy from Haiti. Jimmy is around the same age as Andrey. I can't wait for them to become friends. They both love to play soccer!

We made different kinds of pies, each with it's own complications. Amy and her sweet, sweet mother had bulk pecan and pumpkin pie making down to a science! Kyndal (Jimmy's soon-to-be sister) was our number one stirrer! And I peeled apples until my thumb was a different color! It took us four days, including shopping. And every moment of it was a blessing! It's easy to work hard when you have such great motivation.

"Time it was I had a dream
You're the dream come true
If I had the world to give
I'd give it all to you.
I'll take you to the mountains
I will take you to the sea
I'll show you how this life became
A miracle to me.

You'll fly away
but take my hand until that day
So when they ask how far love goes
When my job's done, you'll be the one who knows."
-Dar Williams

Headless Chicken

This post is not a recipe. It is a description of our family right now. We leave December 11th, and we are running around like...well, like a headless chicken. Tickets have been purchased for myself and my husband- one way tickets, as we have no idea of a return date, yet. After the initial excitement, we were hit with the news that the courts in Ukraine will close December 20th. It usually takes a week from your appointment to get paperwork ready to submit for court. We are praying that God will provide a miracle here and also preparing for the possibility that we are in for a very long wait. If we do not make court before the 20th, the plan for now is that Josh will stay in Ukraine to save travel expenses and I will return to be with our boys here in the U.S. Then once word of a court date is given, I will return for that. This would be an excellent opportunity for Daddy to bond with his new boys, but also a sad time for our younger children to be without their Daddy for maybe as long as 6-8 weeks. Please pray boldly with us that God will move this mountain, and we will be allowed to have our court date before Christmas. Also pray for our boys (in the U.S. and Ukraine) during the length of this process and our parents who are graciously watching the boys while we are away. Thank you to those that have been so encouraging and supportive to us. We know that God is in control, and we are learning to trust His plan more than ever through this process.