First Family Days

I will do my best to update the blog periodically as we adjust to life as a family. If it might be helpful to any families who choose this path, then I will try to make it a priority. The first thing I will say is that the airport can be an overwhelming experience before you even hit the baggage claim. We only had my husbands parents there and still the first sentence they said was, "Let's go." From the 9 1/2 hour flight to the longggg wait at passport control, they were exhausted. (not to mention their flight to London the night before and their exploration of the city) Then, to make the day longer, we had a 3 hour drive home to Ada. Still, I think it was better that we came directly home. They were glad to be done with travel all together. A night in a hotel would've just lengthened their trip.

I am grateful that meeting the dogs went well. Ruslan is not crazy about Brimley, but seems to have grown to like him. They both love Rocky. Pets can be a problem for some adopted children. I am grateful that our boys seem to like them. Andrey is especially attached to them. It's nice to see him interact with them. When English gets to be too much, he can speak to them in Russian and they don't look at him funny.

Our boys are unique because they did not spend all of their time in an orphanage. They lived in a transitional facility for some time and learned about chores and other responsibilities. Every time I begin to prepare a meal, they are both in the kitchen, eager to help. I understand from other adoptive families that this can be problematic. I am grateful that it's not for us. I have a chart with specific responsibilities for all four of our boys during the week. I showed it to them and they understood almost immediately.

We did manage to make it to church our first Sunday as a family of 6! We explained to the boys that they needed to be polite and say hello when people greeted them. You have to understand, it's not that they're rude, but it's very overwhelming being greeted by strangers in a language that you don't speak. They were very gracious to those who said hello. Worship was a bit much, though (imagine sitting for an hour, listening to singing and speaking that you cannot understand). So, it was fine that they decided to say hello to the youth group and then leave. Our youth minister told the boys that the youth group would play soccer that night. They were excited about that. Ruslan said, "I don't need translator. Soccer my translator!" And although I was hesitant to leave them, I wanted to follow their lead. They were okay being left, so we left them and went on to our home team. (small group) Two hours later, we show up, worried that maybe it's been too long, and they're having the time of their lives, playing soccer, showing off their skills. Two happy boys came home, laughing and joking all the way. I'm so thankful that they have begun the process of making American friends. It will help make their transition more smooth, for sure and it was good for our younger boys to have a break from the translation game we play all day long.

Because we home school, I gave our bio boys the day off of school Thursday and Friday. We will start back to school for them as usual tomorrow. And I have a five day plan for ESL this week for Ruslan and Andrey. We're going to start simple and see where they're at. When I told them we would start school tomorrow, Andrey said, "No school! No!" But I explained that learning English is important to communicate with the kids at church. They both agreed. We'll see how it goes.

So that's the update for now. We appreciate your continued prayers for the boys (all four of them) and us.

Just a Glimpse

Just a glimpse of our new family.
Many thoughts brewing, but no post for now.
Just enjoy the view...

Coming Home!

Praise God! They got their visas and they're coming home on Thursday! Please continue to pray for their safety and comfort as they travel. This will be the boys first flight ever. They will fly to London first, then Dallas the next day. Both experienced motion sickness on the bus. I'm hopeful that the airplane will not present similar challenges.
We are so ready to have them home and so grateful to God that it will be soon!

Halfway There...

Livin' on a prayer these days. Josh has had a very long day today. He picked up the court decree early this morning. Then he picked up the boys birth certificates. Then he checked Andrey out of the orphanage and Ruslan out of the technical school. There were some emotions to deal with, saying good-bye to the place of their birth. I am thankful that God provided him with the opportunity to parent them through this. What a blessing! Then they took a car to Donetsk and got their passports. He said it was a long day for the boys in the car. Well, now they're on a train for what feels like FOREVER. Praying for their "cabin fever." The train arrives in Kiev at 7 in the morning. Their appointment at the US embassy is at 8! Praying for Josh to have the ability to sleep on the train! If the US embassy is able to issue their visas on Tuesday, then they will leave for London on Wednesday. If they are not able to issue their visas that day, then we have a problem. The US embassy is closed Wed-the weekend due to a move in their location. So if that problem occurs, no flight home until next week. Praying for a speedy process and understanding US embassy employees. God is good. I have faith that they will be home in HIS time and that has proven to be way better than my time, so I will trust Him.

If they leave Wednesday, I am so excited for them to have one day in London to explore a little. They've never been out of Ukraine. I'm sure London will be very exciting for them! It was for our boys. Thank you for your support, concern and interest. We need your continued prayers for the process and for the changes which are about to occur in our family.

Is This Your Son?

While we were falling in love with our new sons in Ukraine, we were falling in love with this face, too. Meet Misha Dermelyov. Misha was born June 9, 1997. He was diagnosed with Hirschprung disease and had two surgeries within in the first year of his life. Because of these surgeries, he has a disability status, but you would never know it to look at him! Misha lived with his mother and two elder sisters until his mother died from a heart attack in 2009. He then lived with one of his sisters until she died from heart complications. His other sister has also passed away. In August 2010, Misha came to orphanage #1 in Mariupol. Tanya, the director of the TLC where Ruslan lives, has developed a relationship with Misha and has been given permission to bring him to the TLC on the weekends. He also attends church services with her.

Our focus in Mariupol was definitely bonding with Ruslan and Andrey. But Misha seemed to weasel his way into our hearts very quickly. He is very sociable. He came into our room as much, if not more, than the boys. He is always eager to help out, always has a smile on his face and is eager to learn new things. Our hearts just ache at the thought of what the future may NOT hold for this young man. He needs a family. There's a part of me that wishes that family was our family, but we don't even qualify for another child in our home (through international adoption). It became clear to me that there are a million Misha's in the world, but this was the one God had put in front of me. I could either choose to shake my head and walk away or I could be his voice.

Back when we began our adoption process, I wrote a song. The chorus said,
"I'm singing for those without a melody. I'm singing for those without a voice. I'm singing for those without a choice. Lord, let me sing!"

I sang that from the bottom of my heart many times. And now, knowing this young man, I am convinced that he is a direct answer to that request. "Lord, let me sing!" Adopting Ruslan and Andrey doesn't mean walking away from the fatherless. It means always remembering them.

If you find yourself staring at this face, wondering if God is calling you to your son, please contact me and I will do everything in my power to help you through the adoption process. It's an enormous headache with a million obstacles...and it's totally worth it!

If Misha is not your son, pray for him. Pray that God will give him a bright future, a family and a home. Pray for Tanya and the other staff members at the TLC in Mariupol who reach out to kids like Misha and introduce them to Jesus Christ. Please consider sponsoring kids like Misha at jeremiahshope.org. I've seen the way this ministry works. It's a beautiful thing.

Waiting...again

I'm back in America, doing something very familiar to me in this process- waiting. We passed court last Monday. After court, there is a 10 day wait for birth certificates and other documents. Once they've received those (which should be Friday, but you never know with Ukraine), Josh and the boys will head to Kiev to complete the US Embassy side of things. We were made aware that the US Embassy has a several days off for a holiday that week, so it may slow us down. Please join us in bold prayer that they can finish all our documents on Monday, the 16th so that Josh and the boys can fly home as early as the 17th. Josh has been away from Levi and Noah for almost a month now. Needless to say, they are ready to have their Daddy back...and to have their new brothers home with them. Andrey had to go back to the orphanage today. I am very sad about that, but there is nothing to be done about it. Please pray for his time there not to create too much of a deficit in the relationship that he has built with Josh and I. It seems like he is a different person altogether in the orphanage. Also pray for Ruslan and Andrey as they say good-bye to their friends in Ukraine. Although they are ready to come to America, this will be an enormous loss in many ways. Loss of friends, loss of country, loss of language, loss of culture, etc. Also pray for Josh as he struggles through more time away from home and his family. I love to look at this picture (taken in the courtroom just after we passed). But it seems incomplete. I am ready for our family of six to become a reality. Thank you for your encouragement and prayers.

Losing It

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." -Matthew 10:39

In the past three weeks, I cannot tell you how many times I've thought, "This canNOT be my life." It looks nothing like my life. My life is easy- lazy, even. I have two boys that I love to complain about who have really never given me even an ounce of trouble. I have "struggled" through almost 14 years of marriage to a man who truly loves me and gets me, even when I think he doesn't. I have a "small" house that "needs" redecorating. I have "so much to complain about." If this was MY life, it would look a lot different today. I would be sitting in my comfortable home, newly remodeled with that extra bathroom and bigger kitchen that I really "need." I would have independent children with a mute button, dressed like an add for the GAP. My husband would live to please only me and would never become irritated with my little habbits. My life sounds pretty great.

But the thing is, it's NOT my life. It hasn't been for awhile. God first laid claim to it when I was 12 years old, I just didn't fully acknowledge his claim. The deed to my life said, "Property of Jehovah", but my heart said, "You can have this one room- leave the rest for me." Then over the past 22 years, my "land Lord" slowly revealed to me the mildew under the carpets I'd laid in the rest of the place. He showed me the layers of dust, the chipping paint on the walls, the rust in my soul. At first, it was easy to "clean up" for Him when I allowed Him to visit, but then His visits became longer...and more awkward. I couldn't let Him stay in my life...not this life...not the one I had built. I finally knew what He meant to me- the multitude of sins He had erased. I had to remodel.

When He showed me the plan He had for "my" life, I asked for an easier draft. But the Great Architect rejected my proposal and I had a choice to make.

I remember sitting in my bedroom, talking on the phone to Josh, shaking all over. "Can we really do this? Can we really adopt them?" I remember making excuses- maybe even looking for them. "They probably don't even WANT to be adopted. We'll ask- and then at least they'll know they were wanted." Even putting one toe into His life made me uncomfortable. How in the world could I actually live there? But once I put a toe in, it was difficult to pull that toe back out- because the thing was, that while it was uncomfortable, the chill that ran from my toe up my leg and into my heart woke me up. I had been sleeping in my comfortable life. And once I woke up, I never wanted to sleep again. Everything was in color for the first time in years. I knew that what God was asking of us would be extremely difficult- and Satan loved to use my overwhelming anxiety to remind me of that daily; through dreams, through thoughts, even through well meaning people- but I also knew what He promised me in Matthew chapter 10 verse 39...and it sounded great! Maybe that wasn't my life at all. Maybe it was a cheap knock off! Maybe if I could ditch it, I would find a life I never knew I needed.

So when I stood there before the judge, listening to the translator ask us why such a young couple would want to adopt two teenage boys, all I could think was, "I don't know! I must be losing it!....and it feels great!"

Josh answered most of the judge's questions. Then she asked me to stand. "What do you have to add, as a mother." the translator explained. "We are aware of their ages, but this is not a matter for the head- it is a matter for the heart. We did not come to adopt just any children, we came to adopt these children. We love them." Big tears welled up in my eyes, as I felt their eyes on me. I don't have to wonder how it feels to be chosen. I already know. God pursued me in the same way. It doesn't make sense. It wasn't easy. But that's how He loves.

By the way, we passed court. Our new sons will be able to come home sometime before January 20. No definite travel plans for them yet, as there is a 10 day waiting period and then US embassy requirements. I, however, am on my way home tomorrow. I can hardly wait to embrace my American babies. I may never let them go. Although it has been incredibly difficult to be apart, because it was His life and not my own, every last detail has been taken care of. Even the difficult times are building character in us all. I rest in that. Although we are sure to face difficult times ahead, we know whose life we're living in and that renews my faith in this process.