A Beautiful Thing

We have been together for a little more than six weeks now. Because we are a home school family, this means a literal six weeks. There have been only a few hours here or there for church/youth group activities that we have actually been apart. I understand the need for some families to place newly adopted kids in school right away, but I also feel that our crowded house insures that we are getting to know one another quickly, warts and all. On one side of the living room, you can hear my seven year old son subtracting (LOUDLY). On the other side, you can hear Andrey repeating his Rosetta Stone sentences, "What are you doing? I am reading a newspaper." In one bedroom, there is the muffled sound of Russian rap coming from Ruslan's headphones as he completes a worksheet. In another, there are the frustrated complaints of the eleven year old who needs TOTAL SILENCE and doesn't think that's too much to ask. Moments like these can be frustrating, but this is our family, living and breathing, learning about one another and figuring out how to coexist. It's a beautiful thing for this Mom to behold. And then there are the moments you dare not photograph, for fear they will stop doing what you wanted to capture on film- swinging together in the backyard, laughing at something only adolescent boys find funny, practically lying across one another on the couch or (my favorite) spontaneously hugging little brother Noah. These moments feel like little hugs from heaven.

Of course, in the middle of it all, I'm cooking, cleaning and washing the never-ending laundry. I love caring for my boys. There is nothing that gives me more pleasure than knowing their needs are met. I love that now it's not a new idea to Ruslan and Andrey. The first few weeks, they were volunteering to help me at every turn. (not that they don't have chores- because they do) But now, they recognize that some jobs are Mom's job. They don't stare anymore. They don't protest. They let me "mother" them.

In short, things are going very well. We have had our moments FOR SURE. There have been difficult days, but nothing we cannot overcome with the strength of God. Thanks for checking on us, praying for us and making the boys feel welcome in our community. We are making it one day at a time. God is forever faithful.

Hinson Happenings

Tomorrow, our family has been together for three weeks. In many ways, that feels like a short time and in a few ways, it feels like an eternity. The first few days were full of new things. Then things seemed to "normal" out and we got into a sort of routine, with home school and my studio starting back up. Every now and then, things pop up that are "new" again, and in a way that is refreshing. Mealtime is always interesting. Just like any kid, they both have likes and dislikes. Unfortunately, you can never tell when they are joking or not. "This is very bad." (as he pops one after the other in his mouth) And even though we American's LOVE our food, we are always reminded that they are not American-made and often miss the food of their home land. I have made borscht once already and plan to do it again soon. Ruslan cooked a meal for us, as well and has made Ukrainian salad at a few dinners, too. The boys both love to help in the kitchen, or at least to hang out in the kitchen while I'm cooking. When there's noise in the kitchen, they come meandering in and grab a stool. I love it, as it also leads to wonderful conversations. By the way, their English is coming along nicely. They are using Rosetta Stone, but surrounded by the language has been the best thing for them. They often ask one another to finish a thought when they cannot think of a word. And charades has become more than a game to us- more like a way of life!

The main reason I am continuing this blog is to inspire and inform other families going through this journey. However, it is not always appropriate to share details- who said what, etc. It is not in the best interest of the children. I will say, however vaguely, that we have encountered a few issues blending siblings. We knew going into this that it would be a difficult adjustment, particularly because we are blending out of birth order. So far, nothing catastrophic, but there have been tears and bruised egos. I find myself feeling empathetic in so many different directions. "Of course that hurts your feelings...on the other hand, in his culture, this is acceptable behavior." Communication, one on one, is crucial. I try to find moments in the day (and they usually occur naturally) when I can "check in" on each boy. My friend Karen once told me that when you have four kids, one of them will inevitably be unhappy each day. She was right. If it's not one kid, it's another! I find it difficult to accept this because of my personality, but I must say, being thrown into the deep end is forcing me to swim! It's amazing what the process of adoption did for my tolerance level and my patience! And thank goodness they are boys! They get mad and then they get over it!

Almost every night after dinner, Andrey asks, "Tonight family game?" We should really be featured on the next add for the Wii family game night. We have a tournament maybe 5 nights a week. It's something everyone enjoys. Something else they enjoy is going to the store. They lived in a nice sized city and were used to riding the bus and going wherever they pleased. Living in the country, we do not go into town each day, and they miss that. So trips to the store are exciting. They especially love the Doller stores. We introduced them to the concept of allowance. We tithe 10%, save 10% and spend the rest as we choose. They were eager to start saving and very willing to tithe. They also love keeping in touch with their friends back in Ukraine. While we limit skype to the weekends only, we are grateful for sites like Facebook which allow them to communicate with friends back home. I am also grateful that this allows them to communicate with new friends here in Ada. And thank God for google translate! Copy and paste is a great way to have a conversation online. They ARE making American friends. Our youth group and youth minister have been such a blessing! I've said it before about many other big events in life, but it really applies here- I do not know HOW you would adopt children of this age group without church family. They are such a support is so many, many ways! My family does not live here, but my husband's does and they have been a huge support, as well.

We are in the midst of making educational decisions for all four of our boys, so I would appreciate your prayers regarding that, as well. It is a challenge home schooling them, but it is even more of a challenge trying to get them into public school in little ol' Ada, Oklahoma. There is ZERO ESL support here. For now, we are looking at bettering their English and reevaluating public school options in the Fall.

Well, this tired Mama is signing off for now. I hope this update was informative- probably not inspiring. I'm too tired at the end of the day to remember many of those moments- but THEY ARE THERE. And my heart is always full when I go to sleep at night. God is faithful.